Salt Water + Electric Current = Trevor is Stupid

So, you guys remember in the movie "So I Married an Axe Murderer" the scene where Mike Myers et co. are hanging out at a diner talking about terrible situations (re: bran muffins and coffee then getting stuck on the Golden Gate Bridge in traffic)?

No? Maybe you haven't seen the movie enough.

Anyway, they all come up with elaborate stories... until Tony's GF (portrayed by Debi Mazar) simply states, "How about, being electrocuted." She draws blank stares and the conversation quickly ends...

Turns out, she was right... being electrocuted sucks.

Last night, after a harrowing experience of cleaning the fish tank, replacing the filter, and buying a new pump (which was a crazy experience that required 2 trips to 2 hardware stores to modify the pump to ensure proper flow).... where was I?

Oh yeah, I electrocuted myself because of my wet hand grazing the power strip socket as I was turning the lights/pump back on. It hurt a great deal, and was very scary. Kyre and Jen were witnesses to me screaming... and I'm proud to say it wasn't a girly scream at all. Yay me!

Caution: Contains Nudity

Junk.

It is what my infant, baby child has.


Here's his face....
Hands/Arms over his face...


And the junk... oh yeah.

So, the due date is Sept. 23rd... his name will be Campbell Stokes Bryan... and he will go by Stokes.

The 8 of you that read this... enjoy.

The Trevor: is complaining about Facebook.

Before I begin, I realize the inherent irony/hypocrisy in sharing the following the story via my blog.

I'm going to rail on technology for a second, as it is severely limiting my generation's ability to compute on their own.... or maybe my generation is just lazy. Probably both.

Jen is pregnant, this is the first time I've mentioned it on the blog or anywhere on the Internet. So feel special all 8 of you that read this blog. I don't think it is something that needs to be broadcast in an overt way through Facebook statuses or 'tweeting'. However, because every single person in my generation thinks that all life news, from the PBJ sandwich they had for lunch to the details of their various illnesses, needs to be shared via Facebook, not mentioning the pregnancy on Facebook can lead to some confusion.

I had a friend of ours approach me and timidly ask, "Are you guys pregnant?" After replying in the affirmative and the obligatory "Congratulations!" and "Thanks!" She followed up, "I heard that you were from some people, but then I checked Facebook and didn't see anything about it, so I wasn't sure."

Ugh. Really?

(This friend is an intelligent person, too. No offense to them if they read this, but I think even they can see the ridiculousness going on)

For my peeps...

I read a column on ESPN.com called "TMQ" (The Tuesday Morning Quarterback) that is written by Gregg Easterbrook. He writes about the NFL... kind of. About half of his weekly articles (during football season, with a few in the off-season) deal with politics, pop culture, religion, and high-tech science stuff/astronomy. His main gig is as a Managing Editor at the Atlantic Monthly, a magazine of some repute.

In an column last week, he talked about the timing of Easter in relationship to Passover... I thought it was a great read, and I agree with his thoughts. Just wanted to share.

WWJHE -- When Would Jesus Hold Easter? Last year, Easter fell almost a month before Passover. TMQ complained that Easter should always fall on the Sunday after Passover begins. Jesus, after all, just before his crucifixion had come to Jerusalem to celebrate Passover. So why doesn't Easter fall immediately after the first night of Passover? Dating for Passover has always been determined by the ancient Hebrew calendar; in 2009, Passover began on the 15th of Nisan, exactly as it did when Jesus walked the Earth. Easter dating involves a complex formula having to do with the vernal equinox and paschal full moon. During the Middle Ages, the Roman church established that Easter dating formula in part to de-emphasize Christianity's relationship to Judaism. Protestant denominations decided to accept the Roman dating, though nothing about the equinox-and-moon business is mentioned in scripture. Formally linking the observance of Easter to Passover would benefit both Christianity and Judaism, by emphasizing common history. Actually, it would benefit Western Christians. As pointed out by readers, including Sylvia Denisov of St. Louis, in the Eastern Orthodox Church, Easter always falls on the Sunday following the first night of Passover.

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Alex Wong/Getty Images "Western dating of Easter has about as much in common with scripture as the Easter Bunny."

Changing the Western dating formula for Easter, to sync with Passover as is done in Eastern Christianity, would be both historically accurate and a nice ecumenical step. This spring, Easter in the West did fall on the Sunday after Passover began. Turns out that for the next six years, Easter as observed by Western Christianity will follow the first night of Passover; the schedules aren't out of whack again until 2016, when Easter falls on March 27 and Passover does not begin until April 23. That creates six years in which Western Christians could stage a campaign to restore the Passover-Easter relationship. How's about it?

How to Trap a Jew

For those who do not have a sense of humor, stop reading. By sense of humor, I mean tolerance of mild, jocular intolerance. Cool? Cool.

So, if Beyond Balderdash is to be believed, the word 'Jubate' means 'fringed with long hair'... however, I was interested in a different kind of Jew-Bait.

My good buddy Lish is of Jewish descent, and happens to live down the street from us. The trapping was more due to his place of residence, not his ancestry.... so relax.

After Mark and I started a war with some other students in my program (re: we threw some water balloons at them)... I still had 5 water balloons leftover on Sunday. Jen and I were looking for some fun, our conversation went something like this:

Trevor: "Hey! Let's go throw water balloons at Lish!"
Jen: "How will we get him out of his house?"
Trevor: "We'll bait him with Candy Beans!"
Jen: "He won't eat them off the ground"
Trevor: "We can put the Candy Beans on some napkins!"

The plan in place... we trotted over to the Harris residence. (note: While one may immediately think of Gold or "Buy-One, Get-One" Sales on Yarmulkes as appropriate Jew Bait, a little known fact is that Candy Beans are more effective.)

So, in a quiet way, we placed 5 napkins leading away from his door, with a handful of Candy Beans (SweetTart JellyBeans) on each napkin. Jen then went up to the landing of the apartments above Lish's door and I knocked on the door and hid behind some bushes.

Lish opened the door, happily surprised by the Candy Beans that had been sent like Manna from Heaven. As he walked away from the door, I scurried to cut off his escape back into the house and launched a water balloon attack as Jen dropped balloons on his head from above.

We then ran away laughing. Included is a diagram of the sneak attack.

A small ray of hope for this generation...

So I generally think of myself as a pretty considerate person. If you feel otherwise, go ahead and leave a comment to the contrary. However, I'm not sure I'm as considerate as the person I encountered earlier this week.....

A few days ago, I arrived on campus to head to my Internship. I have a few options for parking when going to the Stadium for work; the Stadium general parking lot, the circus lot (next to the FSU Flying High Circus), or the Leach lot (across the street from the Leach, our gym).

The circus lot is my preferred choice, as it leaves the least legwork for my fat self. However, it is the smallest of the 3 lots, and sometimes takes a minute or seven to find a spot. Parking on campus is terrible, at least it is terrible if you want to be anywhere near your final destination. There are a couple places always available... but they aren't near anyplace that I've ever had to go, so they don't count.

To make a long story longer... general protocol in parking lots at FSU is that whoever arrives a spot where another car is backing-out first has dibs on that spot. Dibs is usually called by turning on your turn signal. So, for example, if I see someone backing out, if I get near it with my blinker on first, it is my spot.

Now to the actual story. I pulled into the circus lot, circled a few times, found nothing. After about 2 minutes of waiting, I spied someone walking to their car, and slowly followed them (a very common occurrence). However, as I followed them down one aisle, they suddenly realized their car was in the next row over, and headed through the parked cars to their vehicle. Much to my chagrin, I saw someone in that row, looking for a spot. Hoping against hope, I looped around to the aisle and saw my targeted driver entering their car, with another car already waiting with a blinker on. I gave up and decided to continue my search. However, as soon as the leaving car pulled away, the driver of the other car (blinkers on) flashed his lights at me, and beckoned for me to take the empty spot. He recognized that I had been following that person and just got hit with some bad luck. I graciously accepted, mouthed thank you, and parked. As I walked to work, I thought about how great this was, the first true act of kindness I've witnessed in an FSU parking lot in 6 years. Maybe there is some sliver of hope for my generation, the Me-Generation... and that hope resides in the driver of that Mini Cooper.

Thanks Mini-Cooper Driver Guy!

Where the Wild Things Are!!!!

Sorry for my lameness, my life isn't terribly interesting, so I don't blog much. I'll try to be much more active in the near future.

Click!!!

One of the greatest children's books of all-time will be hitting the big screen very soon. Maurice Sendak's "Where the Wild Things Are" has been made into a film.

We can all thank Spike Jonze, one of the truly great directors of our time, for making what appears to be a great adaptation.

I'm way psyched, even though I'm 25. You should be too.

New High Score

Sorry, my life is sorta boring.

**15,056**

Bubblespinner. Catch the fever.